Invitations

Spring has sprung: time to party.

Spring is nature’s way
of saying, “Let’s party!”
―Robin Williams

My mother gave epic parties. Elaborately themed, merry with chatter and laughter, and bursting with delicious food and drink. (People pulled cold containers of the latter from our kitchen’s ice-filled washing machine.) Nobody remembers anything about my first wedding except the reception, which featured my mother’s cream-filled, handmade swan confectionaries. I would be annoyed about that, except I have to hand it to her—memories of those swans outlived the marriage.

I inherited a lot from my mother—increasingly spotty memory, fondness for popcorn, a tendency to talk too much—but party-hosting skills are not among them. Why, then, you ask, am I offering alleged advice about party invitations? Because I do know how to organize words—the stuff of invitations, after all—in a cohesive, consistent way.

In short: I’ll help you get ’em there; you take over with the party itself.

Invitations, like most comunications vehicles, can be printed or digital, depending. For formal affairs, you want paper. At the far end of that old-fashioned option are handwritten invitations, for very exclusive events such as galas and formal weddings or dinners. They cost a lot of money and labor, but they set the tone for the kind of event you want.

An advantage is that those you invite are more likely to RSVP and show up. And you can tailor each invite to the person you are contacting. You’ll want dark blue or black ink; the experts discourage using ball point pens. Ask friends or family to help if you’ve got a bunch. Here are tips (and a bunch of ads for fancy stationary).

Printed invitations are cheaper and easier, but still involve paper and mailing costs. And although they don’t have the snob factor of handwritten invites, they still suggest a more exclusive event than do digital ones.

Speaking of which. Fast, cheap (aka free), easy, and far-reaching. You write the invitation, work up a group email or create an event on social media, press a button, and presto, done. Both printed and digital invites can have creative graphic elements, which will underscore the vibe and theme you’re going for. The extra bonus with digital is that you can send followup reminders and track who’s coming, or at least who says they’re coming. (Assume that a healthy proportion of those who click “yes” will not show up.) Digital is also the best option for large affairs to which all are welcome—concerts or outdoor parties, for example. Not only can you send them easily, you also can ask recipients to share them.

Although any invite will need the same standard information, how you write it will depend, again, on the occasion’s formality. You probably want to use formal language for anniversary parties, open houses, retirement parties, awards or official ceremonies, business lunches, and weddings. You can be casual with informal dinners, smaller or surprise parties, work parties, and holiday parties. There will be exceptions, of course—you’ll know whether or not your spouse really wants a stiff-collar affair to celebrate the fact that, after 30 years together, you haven’t yet murdered each other.

In my career as a magazine editor, I had the extraordinary luck of working with not one but two gifted art directors who were smarter than I am, going against the stereotype of graphic designers being all about the look but stupid about content. (Although there were a few of those in the mix, too.) So it came as no surprise to me that Shutterfly—the well-known site that started off as a magazine and digital platform for sharing photos and now offers resources for all things visual—provides well-organized, through, and professionally written tips on what to write. It even uses that old newspaper journalist trope of the five Ws—tell ’em who, what, when, where, and why.

To wit: include the party host’s name—and for kids’ birthday parties, include the parents’ names and contact info. Birthday and graduation party invites should include the name and age (or grade) of the one being celebrated.

Describe the event and what to expect, including a theme if you’ve got one and anything the guests need to know about what’s expected of them.

Tell them the date (including the day of the week) and the time, including an end time if there is one.

State where it is, and if it’s not at your home, include the name of the business and a phone number for directions. For out-of-towners, a map is a nice courtesy, even nowadays when we can find online options.

Beyond the five Ws: If you want an RSVP, provide a phone number or email address, and include a deadline date for getting it in. Also, advise on whether the recipient can bring a guest and/or spouse and kids. If there is a dress code, or if they need to bring something, let them know these details, too.

If your party will be outdoors and you don’t have a backup plan for bad weather, consider planning a rain date—and if you decide to go that way, provide that information on the invitation as well. Other information to consider if pertinent: parking and special dietary requirements.

You’ll want to send out your invitations some time between two and eight weeks prior to the event. If it coincides with a busy time, such as the holidays, send earlier. If you’re inviting out-of-towners, they need time to book flights and lodgings.

If it’s a really big event—a conference or a festival—you’ll need even more time, and might want to send out save-the-date cards well in advance. If tickets are involved, early notice is also important, including advice on early-bird options or limited supplies. (But if it’s a conference or a festival, why are you reading this newsletter for advice? You’re better off with professional insights from sources well above my pay grade.)

Billetto, a UK ticketing and events planning platform, provides advice and resources on writing and sending invitations, including links to templates that you can use to inspire and get started.

You’ll also find a wide swath of short sample invites at Shutterfly, for events from cocktail soirees (“Sip Sip Hooray!”) to Halloween or retirement parties.

Bon appetit!

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Lagniappe: Gardening is good for the soil and the soul—and apparently, it can make you happy, too. This issue’s lagniappe comes courtesy Patrick Palmer, a friend and Well Worded reader: Antidepressant Microbes In Soil: How Dirt Makes You Happy.